Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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