and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
