keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize