I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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