I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
