Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
