remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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