dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
