Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
