So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Randomize