But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
