Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
