does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
