he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
