I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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