He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
