just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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