Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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