dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
