She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
