i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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