I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
