Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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