If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize