She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
