The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
