things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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