just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
