Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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