Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
