She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
