Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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