Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
