R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
