end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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