awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am midnight drunk by noon
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
