Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize