can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize