I have demons in me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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