I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
