Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
