Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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