Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
