we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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