He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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