Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I could make wine with my vomit
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
