in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Couch. On fire.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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