I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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