CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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