just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
