I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
