I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize