i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
