I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
