dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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