Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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