only if we run a train.
done.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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