covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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