I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The best revenge is premature balding
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
