Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
