There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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