Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
