We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My dick has a subreddit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
