if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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