this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm bleeding and have questions
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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