yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
