omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
