You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize