I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize