The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
